As a public service has compiled these tips on picking up hot chicks. We've researched the subject and boiled it down to five easy steps. No flowers, cute poems or fancy cars necessary, remember chicks are people too. In order for it to work, it is very important that you study and follow these steps precisely. If you fail to do exactly as we say, you'll need The Guide to Dealing with Rejection

THE PROCEDURE (Print this out and keep it handy)

1. Find a hot chick.

    This is actually harder than it sounds. Remember to avoid the three T's of hot chicks: Taken, Tainted, and Tougher than you. Great bodily harm or discomfort may be in your future if care is not taken to avoid these types of chicks.

2. Get her to look at you

    This is pretty easy, especially in a public setting. 306WD reccomends that you avoid doing this through fights or personal hygiene rituals, but to each his own. The yelling of "yo! over here" or "Look at me!" are a quick and easy ways and provide a good test: if she doesn't find it cute then she's probably got one of the three T's.

3. Find a reason to talk to her

    Ask her to dance, what her favorite food is or if she prefers ribbed or smooth. What you say is up to you, but remember to lead the conversation so as to follow your goals for the evening. If you're into pain, talk about something painful. If you're into getting drunk and throwing up on her shoes, talk about shoes (ironically, shoes are the best topics to use when picking up hot chicks, but you better know what you're what you're talking about or she'll see right through you).

4. Pretend to Enjoy Listening to Her Stories

    An obvious tip we realize, but one that is commonly forgotten, or done improperly. We advise that you practice. Try turning on the 700 Club and watch and listen to Pat Robertson with, what would appear to be, great interest. Nod and say "I understand" alot. The occasional "Ahhhh!" like you just discovered that the waitress forgot to charge you for something also helps.

5. Act Shy then Make Your Move

    Do things like look at the floor and say, "I don't suppose you'd want to..." and just cut it off. Let her 'dig' it out of you. Be real bashful. Then use your judgment what to finish it off with. "...sleep with me" or " me another drink". She'll think it's a joke if she's not interested, otherwise you're sitting pretty. (if she does laugh, buy her another couple of drinks and repeat this step until you're calling the shots).


Pimp : The Story of My Life

by: by Iceberg Slim and Robert Beck

Click to order from


Taco Tim Ryan M.K. Bob
What do you look for in a hot chick?

Low self esteem


Poor eyesight and narcalepsy

a deliciously slutty appearance

Where do you go to find the hottest chicks?

Clubs with the word "Music" in their name

The parking lot outside a prom

The Quicky-Mart on a Friday Night (I can buy for them!)

the dirty magazine next to the toilet

How do you get a hot chick's attention?

Throw peanuts at her boyfriend

Stare blatantly till she looks, then wink and smile.

I like to air guitar to the juke box and jump around alot.

trip over stuff or slip and fall, I'm clumsy
What's your favorite first line?

"I'm old enough to buy, let's party!"

"Hey baby, I drive an Escort"

"I drive a Trans Am baby"

"oh wow, hi" or "spuh!"

In upcoming installments of Dating Tips we'll give you tips on what kind of women to look for and help you through successful pick-up's. There is even talk of some helpful tips for you ladies out there.